Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
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I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
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Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?