The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea