I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
I hate when you're right.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.