We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up