I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow