She announced her abortion via fbk
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.