I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
If You LOL At These 18 Tweets, You’re Probably A Terrible Person
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
If You’re One of These 12 Restaurant Customers, Your Server is Definitely Spitting in Your Food
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Good Food, Cheap Beer, and Hot Singles: the Top 13 Cities for Millennials