if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.