I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
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i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
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Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly