Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming