Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
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Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
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I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.