Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.