Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house