Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
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I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
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We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.