your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.