I wanna passion pit in your ass
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone