I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls