The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.