To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF