I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.