I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
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He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
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so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.