Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.