I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.