Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern