that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.