I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?