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Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
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