I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...