We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.