An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.