Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive