Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
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i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
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Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.