Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
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Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
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You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad