FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.