I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"