The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
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I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
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Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away