Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
you would pick up someone in the library
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.