i woke up with socks on this morning
i didnt wear socks last night
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options