It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
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Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
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Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday