I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.