What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
whats a polygalesbian?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.