he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
i think my tv is drunk
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
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I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
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Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night