Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?