just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
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I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
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I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.