i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university