He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient