i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"