"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"