Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
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Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
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Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you