Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong