I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.