There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
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I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
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yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.