Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?