He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year