All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine