Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird