I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
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It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
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I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
So drunk its hurt
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens