Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"