She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"