Texts From Last Night

Worst Nights of the Week

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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.

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  (479): I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home. http://tfl.nu/t2fg
  Replies (4) Good night (104) Bad night (340)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.

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  (417): He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex. http://tfl.nu/n0fj
  Replies (1) Good night (73) Bad night (338) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.

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  (850): Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore. http://tfl.nu/g2ed
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.

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  (734): You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them. http://tfl.nu/p5zk
  Replies (1) Good night (175) Bad night (322)
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  (315): View more from New York

  New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..

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  (315): New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own.. http://tfl.nu/1bvs
  Replies (5) Good night (157) Bad night (320) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.

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  (978): We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement. http://tfl.nu/az5f
  Replies (3) Good night (108) Bad night (313) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now

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  (215): Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now http://tfl.nu/6dgv
  Replies (5) Good night (163) Bad night (300) Order T-Shirt
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  (956): View more from Texas

  I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.

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  (956): I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you. http://tfl.nu/vvm8
  Replies (6) Good night (96) Bad night (293) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.

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  (304): Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am. http://tfl.nu/u695
  Replies (3) Good night (132) Bad night (291) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.

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  (781): I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups. http://tfl.nu/fsmw
  Replies (1) Good night (131) Bad night (288) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.

  (951): View more from California

  Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped

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  (760): I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire. (951): Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped http://tfl.nu/trsg
  Replies (3) Good night (167) Bad night (287)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.

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  (407): I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is. http://tfl.nu/ixfo
  Replies (2) Good night (454) Bad night (285) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home

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  (775): When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home http://tfl.nu/5cvq
  Replies (5) Good night (441) Bad night (265) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work

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  (412): the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work http://tfl.nu/2wj1
  Replies (11) Good night (1073) Bad night (260) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan

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  (301): I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan http://tfl.nu/1x19
  Replies (2) Good night (490) Bad night (259) Order T-Shirt