For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.