Texts From Last Night

Worst Nights of Today

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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?

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  (218): Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young? http://tfl.nu/34pp
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.

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  (580): She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand. (580): I'm worried because he hasn't removed it. http://tfl.nu/hp4o
  Replies (1) Good night (336) Bad night (65)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.

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  (850): Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too. http://tfl.nu/dtev
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.

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  (303): as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking. http://tfl.nu/8b6a
  Replies (0) Good night (260) Bad night (64)
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  (707): View more from California

  I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.

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  (707): I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over. http://tfl.nu/3xvt
  Replies (2) Good night (234) Bad night (58) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.

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  (+61): I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad. http://tfl.nu/47hi
  Replies (2) Good night (414) Bad night (57) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday

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  (425): I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday http://tfl.nu/6bnr
  Replies (1) Good night (227) Bad night (55) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk

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  (503): Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk http://tfl.nu/l7fc
  Replies (7) Good night (298) Bad night (54) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex

  (816): View more from Missouri

  ...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship

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  (816): You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex (816): ...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship http://tfl.nu/eny9
  Replies (1) Good night (553) Bad night (51)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.

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  (505): Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis. http://tfl.nu/t3p3
  Replies (1) Good night (306) Bad night (50) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day

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  (515): Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day http://tfl.nu/z36i
  Replies (3) Good night (377) Bad night (50) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.

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  (615): Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast. http://tfl.nu/ki2v
  Replies (1) Good night (253) Bad night (48) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.

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  (410): He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever." (410): I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much. http://tfl.nu/3c5w
  Replies (2) Good night (700) Bad night (44)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.

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  (262): My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels. http://tfl.nu/4t4s
  Replies (4) Good night (498) Bad night (42) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.

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  (314): I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed. http://tfl.nu/a0tv
  Replies (4) Good night (500) Bad night (41) Order T-Shirt