I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom