Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door