we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
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Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.