First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?