SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage