Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob