And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.