Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
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...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.