I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....