She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i was born a porn star she said
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea