Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.