Texts From Last Night

Worst Nights of All Time

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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.

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  (870): I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me. http://tfl.nu/h17o
  Replies (12) Good night (1101) Bad night (319)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan

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  (813): I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan http://tfl.nu/4qu1
  Replies (4) Good night (883) Bad night (319) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!

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  (616): I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS! http://tfl.nu/eric
  Replies (4) Good night (1529) Bad night (319) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.

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  (423): Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows. http://tfl.nu/qes9
  Replies (4) Good night (1427) Bad night (318) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures

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  (416): But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures http://tfl.nu/emrg
  Replies (2) Good night (1408) Bad night (318) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.

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  (970): Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms. http://tfl.nu/abxe
  Replies (4) Good night (864) Bad night (318) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday

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  (724): On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday http://tfl.nu/c6y1
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.

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  (605): I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits. http://tfl.nu/1m96
  Replies (3) Good night (1010) Bad night (318) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.

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  (207): I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager. http://tfl.nu/qawn
  Replies (3) Good night (817) Bad night (318) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  Ya that ship has sailed dude

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  (317): The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh. (1-317): Ya that ship has sailed dude http://tfl.nu/5hyc
  Replies (4) Good night (1150) Bad night (318) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.

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  (716): Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly. http://tfl.nu/tse2
  Replies (1) Good night (528) Bad night (318) Order T-Shirt
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.

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  (218): You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk. http://tfl.nu/cpk7
  Replies (9) Good night (659) Bad night (318) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.

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  (602): Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/31f5
  Replies (3) Good night (1076) Bad night (318) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...

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  (214): I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex... http://tfl.nu/zoqe
  Replies (4) Good night (1732) Bad night (318) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing

  (1-619): View more from California

  Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this

  (619): View more from California

  ...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...

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  (619): You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing (1-619): Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this (619): ...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down... http://tfl.nu/uvgk
  Replies (4) Good night (1025) Bad night (318)