will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts