At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?