Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that