You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.