I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour