Texts From Last Night

Worst Nights of All Time

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  (903): View more from Texas

  All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.

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  (903): All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed. http://tfl.nu/pos0
  Replies (3) Good night (2008) Bad night (442) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.

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  (910): I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with. http://tfl.nu/a0xq
  Replies (13) Good night (1054) Bad night (442) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party

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  (734): it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party http://tfl.nu/d8h2
  Replies (8) Good night (1338) Bad night (442) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?

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  (202): Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way? http://tfl.nu/rhdn
  Replies (25) Good night (2517) Bad night (442) Order T-Shirt
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there

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  (504): i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there http://tfl.nu/461i
  Replies (4) Good night (1913) Bad night (442) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.

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  (413): Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk. http://tfl.nu/4ore
  Replies (11) Good night (1694) Bad night (442)
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  (408): View more from California

  420 ftw

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  (408): 420 ftw http://tfl.nu/c4kx
  Replies (16) Good night (1175) Bad night (442) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.

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  (816): I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey. http://tfl.nu/ef3v
  Replies (3) Good night (1526) Bad night (442) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man

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  (785): apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man http://tfl.nu/lmge
  Replies (5) Good night (1565) Bad night (442)
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  (714): View more from California

  And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize

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  (714): And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize http://tfl.nu/o5b5
  Replies (4) Good night (1760) Bad night (442)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"

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  (215): You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!" http://tfl.nu/4gma
  Replies (2) Good night (259) Bad night (442) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair

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  (303): well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair http://tfl.nu/spf3
  Replies (3) Good night (1134) Bad night (442) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...

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  (406): Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms... http://tfl.nu/f4gr
  Replies (5) Good night (1083) Bad night (442) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes

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  (970): I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes http://tfl.nu/f5p7
  Replies (2) Good night (233) Bad night (441) Order T-Shirt
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life

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  (204): I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life http://tfl.nu/rqe5
  Replies (7) Good night (947) Bad night (441) Order T-Shirt