Texts From Last Night

Worst Nights of All Time

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'

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  (303): i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris' http://tfl.nu/lstf
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  (481): View more from

  I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW

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  (481): I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW http://tfl.nu/doc5
  Replies (8) Good night (2021) Bad night (468) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking

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  (850): Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking http://tfl.nu/6x7l
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  (805): View more from California

  Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.

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  (805): Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me. http://tfl.nu/gsfp
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  (310): View more from California

  Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.

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  (310): Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist. http://tfl.nu/cj2p
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  (718): View more from New York

  ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE

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  (718): ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE http://tfl.nu/zykk
  Replies (7) Good night (1966) Bad night (468) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm drunk

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Is that why you're texting me

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Yes

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  (405): I'm drunk (615): Is that why you're texting me (405): Yes http://tfl.nu/5xy8
  Replies (16) Good night (1454) Bad night (468)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.

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  (+44): Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room. http://tfl.nu/d3jd
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny

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  (513): I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny http://tfl.nu/yacg
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  (713): View more from Texas

  You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".

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  (713): You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress". http://tfl.nu/1fwn
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.

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  (307): And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door. http://tfl.nu/qc62
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.

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  (913): I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point. http://tfl.nu/9lwl
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.

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  (304): No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me. http://tfl.nu/xahh
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator

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  (503): It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator http://tfl.nu/0fh7
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself

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  (708): We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself http://tfl.nu/lyck
  Replies (2) Good night (747) Bad night (468) Order T-Shirt