just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.