Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Such a big mess for such a small penis