Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.