Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room