...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha