HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it