I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I look excited, but its just a facade.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?