I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....