Texts From Last Night

Worst Nights of the Month

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.

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  (612): So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision. http://tfl.nu/oggj
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?

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  (203): He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem? http://tfl.nu/53aj
  Replies (10) Good night (187) Bad night (836) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.

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  (410): Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night. http://tfl.nu/tzdh
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?

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  (757): Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures? http://tfl.nu/69o8
  Replies (10) Good night (161) Bad night (802) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>

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  (443): so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.> http://tfl.nu/ipoz
  Replies (0) Good night (225) Bad night (796)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.

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  (+44): If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned. http://tfl.nu/qyit
  Replies (8) Good night (188) Bad night (788) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.

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  (561): You know I love you. I just don't love your penis. http://tfl.nu/4w11
  Replies (6) Good night (171) Bad night (784) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.

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  (775): That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed. http://tfl.nu/y3pb
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  (310): View more from California

  he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party

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  (310): he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party http://tfl.nu/v00e
  Replies (1) Good night (174) Bad night (762)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.

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  (631): Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life. http://tfl.nu/mm7p
  Replies (9) Good night (177) Bad night (760) Order T-Shirt
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower

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  (414): She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower http://tfl.nu/h8q1
  Replies (1) Good night (242) Bad night (757) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.

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  (202): No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free. http://tfl.nu/2enk
  Replies (16) Good night (331) Bad night (731) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.

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  (917): Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly. http://tfl.nu/0uc8
  Replies (2) Good night (146) Bad night (731) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion

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  (801): It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion http://tfl.nu/cwcp
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."

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  (478): I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you." http://tfl.nu/9ihc
  Replies (1) Good night (182) Bad night (724) Order T-Shirt