after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill