Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day