So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.