Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.