In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.