My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil