Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
we're so committed to being not committed