Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?