After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.