Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.