Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving