We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper