Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
we f'd six times
its sunday, i cant say fucked
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers