A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour