Texts From Last Night

Worst Nights of the Week

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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.

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  (864): I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population. http://tfl.nu/aqkb
  Replies (3) Good night (257) Bad night (87) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow

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  (908): Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow http://tfl.nu/q4cz
  Replies (3) Good night (547) Bad night (87) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.

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  (425): I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red. http://tfl.nu/gzxu
  Replies (7) Good night (439) Bad night (87) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.

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  (832): He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things. http://tfl.nu/i4w8
  Replies (2) Good night (127) Bad night (87) Order T-Shirt
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life

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  (+64): the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life http://tfl.nu/95hw
  Replies (2) Good night (783) Bad night (85) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle

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  (727): I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle http://tfl.nu/ptdk
  Replies (2) Good night (238) Bad night (85) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless

  (209): View more from California

  Sacramento doesn't deserve you

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  (916): Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless (209): Sacramento doesn't deserve you http://tfl.nu/wsxj
  Replies (5) Good night (414) Bad night (85)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.

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  (813): Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line. http://tfl.nu/x7j1
  Replies (4) Good night (434) Bad night (85) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.

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  (301): A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it. http://tfl.nu/f0y3
  Replies (3) Good night (361) Bad night (85)
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  (714): View more from California

  wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man

  (1-714): View more from California

  you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife

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  (714): wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man (1-714): you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife http://tfl.nu/week
  Replies (2) Good night (550) Bad night (84) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?

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  (719): Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit? http://tfl.nu/ng8r
  Replies (2) Good night (673) Bad night (84)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  An artistic expression of her stupidity.

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  (919): what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding? (1-919): An artistic expression of her stupidity. http://tfl.nu/majp
  Replies (1) Good night (395) Bad night (83) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.

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  (206): If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever. http://tfl.nu/y5vi
  Replies (1) Good night (320) Bad night (79) Order T-Shirt
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  (276): View more from Virginia

  I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me

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  (276): I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me http://tfl.nu/m1mj
  Replies (1) Good night (592) Bad night (79) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero

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  (425): Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero http://tfl.nu/rxr0
  Replies (3) Good night (494) Bad night (79) Order T-Shirt