It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I supernannyed him into submission
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.