This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz