I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.