i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House