He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.