Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
how drunk are you?
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We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.