In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap