Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
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I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.