I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.