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Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
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