my phone needs a breathalizer
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.