Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
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I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
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the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.