Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___

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(650): Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___ http://tfl.nu/djlq

Replies (2) Good night (45) Bad night (464) Order T-Shirt
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw

(281): View more from Texas

I love Texas.

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(832): Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw (281): I love Texas. http://tfl.nu/eppv

Replies (43) Good night (2969) Bad night (114)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.

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(570): If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid. http://tfl.nu/ujtp

Replies (15) Good night (204) Bad night (2454) Order T-Shirt
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(310): View more from California

I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.

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(310): I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless. http://tfl.nu/yhaf

Replies (7) Good night (282) Bad night (1727) Order T-Shirt
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(727): View more from Florida

I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.

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(727): I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut. http://tfl.nu/wfck

Replies (122) Good night (860) Bad night (2972) Order T-Shirt
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(352): View more from Florida

the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.

(407): View more from Florida

given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was

(352): View more from Florida

i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it

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(352): the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight. (407): given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was (352): i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it http://tfl.nu/tb83

Replies (38) Good night (2407) Bad night (740)
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(720): View more from Colorado

It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.

(920): View more from Wisconsin

You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.

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(720): It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love. (920): You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit. http://tfl.nu/9jaf

Replies (24) Good night (514) Bad night (1999)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.

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(201): My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms. http://tfl.nu/tth4

Replies (6) Good night (186) Bad night (2097) Order T-Shirt
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(936): View more from Texas

My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.

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(936): My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today. http://tfl.nu/sil6

Replies (10) Good night (7899) Bad night (165) Order T-Shirt
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

i'm in his phone as sushi coochie

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(610): i'm in his phone as sushi coochie http://tfl.nu/9tzp

Replies (27) Good night (540) Bad night (5494) Order T-Shirt
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(515): View more from Iowa

John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.

(1-515): View more from Iowa

As in blowjob or cannibalism?

(515): View more from Iowa

I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.

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(515): John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance. (1-515): As in blowjob or cannibalism? (515): I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal. http://tfl.nu/r3de

Replies (66) Good night (2957) Bad night (794)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!

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(832): i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!! http://tfl.nu/co2h

Replies (28) Good night (4594) Bad night (171) Order T-Shirt
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(628): View more from California

i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me

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(628): i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me http://tfl.nu/vt02

Replies (38) Good night (1325) Bad night (3825) Order T-Shirt
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(650): View more from California

Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers

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(650): Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers http://tfl.nu/4ij8

Replies (62) Good night (6890) Bad night (381) Order T-Shirt
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(512): View more from Texas

Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.

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(512): Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer. http://tfl.nu/t35w

Replies (22) Good night (3452) Bad night (534) Order T-Shirt

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